Pantera - Cowboys From Hell

The year is 2002.

I'm in Atlantic City with my then-girlfriend (me 17, her 18) with her parents and a bunch of people from Kensington waiting to head back to Philadelphia after they had a day of gambling while me and her hung out on the beach and went to the mall and had a meal at Planet Hollywood. Earlier that day, I had bought a copy of the earliest Pantera album I could find, a 1991 disc called "Cowboys from Hell". It's March, and we're going to graduate from high school in 2 months and I've just spent the last 4 years learning what bands like Megadeth, Metallica, Anthrax, and now Slayer had to offer me. Now I'm ready to find out, finally, what all the fuss is over these guys from Texas.

Now, I've told you all of that so you know just how fresh this album was to me. In 2002, despite having this album out for 11 years, despite bands like Korn and Slipknot dominating the metal landscape, I rejected them all and was listening to what anyone else in 1991 would. And, lo and behold, my reaction must have been the same as anyone's 11 years earlier if they had a Walkman on them and bought that album and was waiting for a bus for 40 minutes.

I started to headbang. A lot. A WHOLE lot! I practically started a moshpit listening to this album the first two times!

While my soon-to-be ex was listening to Puddle of Mudd (which I made fun of her for, relentlessly), I was learning "The Art of Shredding" and learning of the beauty and majesy of the Cemetery Gates. The very second that opening guitar riff was scanned by that laser eye, transmitted into electrical currents, and beamed right into my god-damn brain, I knew this was THE greatest metal album I had ever heard! Megadeth's "Rust in Peace" beats this disc in terms of personal listens 2-to-1, but I think I listened to this album at least once a day for a month and then at least once a week.

The album is an undipsuited masterpiece, and really, a review of this album is pointless. It's like trying to explain why a cake tastes so damn sweet, or why a nice, wet pussy on a hot young blond is paradise.

But I'll give you a good idea why; This album fuses the hair-metal styling with the thrash metal and punk sensibilities of Megadeth, Metallica, and DRI. Toss in a heavy dose of Texas and New Orleans attitude and bam, Pantera! The most important tracks are the title track, "Primal Concrete Sledge", and "Cemetery Gates". The most underrated are "Shattered" and "The Art of Shredding".

Anyone who says Phil Anselmo can't sing has never heard this album. Anyone who wonders why Vinnie Paul is a hell of a drummer hasn't heard this album. Anyone who thinks Dimebag "squandered his gift" playing the guitar has never heard this album. Rex is one hell of a bassist, too!

This album is sheer metal perfection, up there with more legendary albums than I can name. Only complaint? It ain't longer!

10 out of 10! Buy it or get an ass kicking!

Strapping Young Lad – City

Strapping Young Lad – City

It is hard to think of an album more worthy of praise than this disc. Not only did Devin Townsend secure his final line-up for the band on this album, but he forever earned his reputation as the musical genius of metal. While other metal guitarists and artists are more than happy to list that their inspiration came from other metal acts, it's the like of Townsend that name the classical composers of the 1880's as his heroes.

City is a masterpiece in every since of the word. For those of you not familiar with what the word is supposed to mean, it's very simple; a Masterpiece, or Masterwork, is suppose to be the very embodiment of everything an artist has learned put into one piece. If one wanted to, Leonardo's “The Last Supper” could be considered just that thanks to his use of technique and as it was, in essence, everything he knew and learned and pioneered thanks to his genius.

In that same vein, City by Strapping Young Lad is just that; It is THE embodiment of everything that Devin Townsend is capable of.

If there was ever any album that could be called the very portrait of anger and rage, this is it. There is, and never again will be, something that could describe the very anger and rage that goes through the mind of a person in the history of music. Devin Townsend himself has bi-polar disorder. While others would say he “suffers” from it, it's quite the contrary; It has done nothing, in terms of his art, but to act as the single greatest driving force possible. I have known people who have that disorder; I, myself, suffer from Attention Deficit Disorder (A.D.D.). I may have Bi-Polar, too, which wouldn't be too surprising.

Without question, this is the most dangerous album ever recorded.

City opens with “Velvet Kevorkian”, the Deceleration of Independence according to Devin. It states in simple terms that he is sick and tired of it all and he wants more from life, his art, and his future. It's followed up by “All Hail the New Flesh”, the musical embodiment of the previous track. It is an insanely complex song that sounds like he is has actually recorded an anxiety attack with a metal band! It ends with a temper with pulsing drums and Devin screaming, “I want it all! I want it all! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK! FUCK!”; the very sound of anger itself, put on record!

“Oh My Fucking God” starts out as manic as you can get; Devin starts out with a relatively clam scream, leading into a non-stop verbal rant about modern society. This gives way later on to a fierce battle of guitars with Devin snarling like a man possessed, leading way to an intense drum blast that must have clocked close to the speed of sound! Soon, they are over-lapped with a chant of “la-la-la-la” over and over again, getting louder and louder and louder until it's enough to... yes, you have finally reached a point beyond anger and into insanity, greeted simply with yelling “Oh My Fucking God”.

“Detox” works just like that. You've been plunged into the world where you now have taken something, drugs, alcohol... something, anything to kill the pain and anger you were just feeling. The song leaves you feeling better than you came. You finally awaken half-way through this song wondering just how you got to the place you came to, feeling paranoid that your looking like an ass in some manner, only to return to the state you cam from. But your still thankful for the experience.

“Home Nucleonics” acts as the cry against all mankind; a “Fuck the world, I hope you all die” kind of sense. Your left feeling insanely angry, warning everyone not to get in your way. The song is essentially written from the perspective of a rouge robot in a future world. “AAA” is an intensely personal song about... well, we can only assume it was written from personal perspective, though I am not one to take 100% belief in it in this case.

“Underneath the Waves” returns you the intensely pissed off Devy that you met earlier. It is Devin screaming in frustration at how nothing is happening. “Tired of Waiting/Tired of Trying/Tired of Waiting/ For Fucking Nothing”, screams the chorus at the top of it's lungs! The guitars chug underneath, giving the cries even more presence.

“Spirituality” is the calmest of all and the perfect closer. It could possibly reveal that the entire album was written from the perspective of some robot, some experiment pondering it's existence, wondering if there is more to it's life than what it's seen. Something I think we can all relate to.

The album is incredibly powerful. Maybe that's why there's a diagram of a bomb on the front. It has the same power, the same intensity.

It deserves no less than a 10 out of 10.

Buy this album, damn it!

Discharge - Hear Nothing, See Nothing, Say Nothing

Discharge - Hear Nothing, See Nothing, Say Nothing

What makes an album perfect? What makes an album do something that no album you have experinced do to you that none other has done before? It's impossible to explain, and it's impossible to pinpoint. But in what I consider to be over 8 years of REALLY listening to music, this is the first time that instead of saying, "I Want to Do something" because of the music, I actually DID something.

If this album doesn't make you do something violent, your not human!

Hear Nothing, See Nothing, Say Nothing is as violent an album you will EVER hear! Yes, you have groups like Hatebreed, Terror, and Nile out there pushing the boundries of extrme music, but none of them have that same punch in comparisson to the rawness of this album. The riffs are simple but forceful, the drums simply just beat the living shit out of you, and the vocals simply tear your skin off! It's like going dtraight into a insanely nasty war! The lyrics are fiercly political, relying on anti-politics, anti-war, anti-human, even! It's not hard to see why this band influenced groups like Anthrax and Metallica, resulting in both doing covers from this album. The loud, distorted guitars tearing away at the world. It is simply insane.

The standout moment on this album is the combination of "Cries For Help" leading into "The Possibility of Life's Destruction". Dealing with the threat of a nuclear war, it isn't exactly cliche; Instead of some pointless drivle of a 5-minute song going on about how the world will die in a nuclear conflict, it instead uses something much more powerful! It invokes the same reaction as did Lyndon Johnson's 1964 Political Ad where the "images of a cute little girl counting daisy petals give way to those of a nuclear blast countdown in this still-haunting commercial from Lyndon Johnson." That line was taken from the AllPolitics archive on the subject, but I think it works well here. The impact is exactly the same, and that is the best example of what type of album you have.

5 out of 5. 'Nuff Said.

NOW BUY THE FUCKING THING! IT'S ONLY $12!